MS-related emotional challenges
THE MS EXPERIENCE is frequently associated with emotional challenges, including grief, demoralization, and sometimes clinical depression. These emotional struggles may temporarily dampen interest in sex or the ability to give and receive sexual pleasure. Coping with emotional changes to enhance sexuality has several aspects: assessment, education, professional treatment, and coping interventions.
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| Multiple Sclerosis Description |
Assessment of clinical depression can be done by a mental health professional who is familiar with MS. Treatment that involves antidepressant medications and psychotherapy typically offers symptom relief, including the restoration of sexual interest. (Because loss of libido and orgasmic changes are common side effects of some antidepressant medications, it is important to discuss medication options thoroughly with your physician.)
Changes in self-esteem and body image are frequently associated with the losses imposed by chronic illness. These changes are accompanied by a normal grieving process that tends to ebb and flow over the course of the disease. In addition, the demanding and unpredictable course of MS can lead to stress and anxiety, which, in turn, set the stage for partners to "take out" MS-related frustrations on each other or emotionally withdraw from the relationship. The times when partners need the most support and encouragement from each other are precisely the times when it may be most difficult to offer that help. Education about the emotional challenges in MS and approaches to dealing with them is available through the National MS Society.
The role of effective communication
ONE OF THE most important coping interventions in dealing with body image and emotional changes is ongoing, effective, intimate communication with one's long-term sexual partner. If the long term relationship represents an important context of sexuality, communication skills constitute the vehicle of sexual expression.
Exploring new options, discussing disappointments, and expressing what partners feel and want may be particularly difficult the face of coping with all the other changes associated with MS. MS peer groups, couples groups, and/or individual or couples counseling can facilitate the communication process.
There are several fundamental components of successful communication. The first is active listening, which encompasses such behaviors as giving undivided attention, observing each other's body language, fully hearing each other's messages before responding, and requesting clarification if necessary. When these skills are developed, partners are more capable of offering empathy, which is one of the most crucial interpersonal skills needed to enhance and maintain a harmonious and pleasurable relationship.
Empathic communication requires that an individual be able to comprehend his or her partner's thoughts and feelings in a given situation cud be able to convey the understanding to that person. There is a greater chance of enhancing emotional intimacy, even at difficult moments, if both partners feel there is mutual understanding and respect.
Talking with Healthcare Providers and Acquiring Information
OFTEN, NEUROLOGISTS AND other MS healthcare providers do not spontaneously bring up the subject of sexuality. They may ignore sexuality because they perceive this line of questioning as an unwelcome intrusion into their patients' private lives, because they are personally uncomfortable asking about sexuality, or because they lack professional training in this area.
Although it can be difficult and potentially embarrassing, your sexuality is important enough for you to bring up with your primary MS physician. Discuss your changes in sexual feelings and ask directly about treatments that are available to enhance sexuality. If you have a sexual partner, bring your partner with you or share the information. Ask your doctor about how your symptoms and the medications used to treat them may be affecting your sexual response.
Although the burden of opening the door to communication about sexuality may initially fall on you, taking this step with your healthcare team will ensure that this frequently untreated symptom receives the attention it deserves. To find out more, you can check out Multiple Sclerosis Description.